I wasted the first years of my marriage in anger and frustration. I didn’t understand why things continued to get worse. The more I tried, the more angry and enraged I would be. I’m talking uncontrollable crying, yelling, and giving the silent treatment. What was happening?
Not only did I not know how to set or keep boundaries, I had zero idea how to present my needs to my husband without insulting him. I was a mess.
How do you communicate your boundaries?
HERE ARE 4 TIPS THAT I USE IN MY MARRIAGE:
- Be Upfront. Go to your husband. Speak in facts and short phrases. Avoid the drama of “you.” Use “I” statements to share what you need.
2. Welcome the hard conversations. Things are going to get WORSE before they get better. You heard it from me. When my husband and I started communicating, it was ugly. You have to be willing to get it wrong so you can get it right in the future. This is where growth comes.
3. Be patient and know when to walk away. Easier said than done. Let me say that again. This part sucks. Sometimes, you need to be the one to stay silent. And sometimes, you need to be the one to walk away. You know how I said you need to be willing to be wrong? Well, when someone messes up, you or your hubby will be hurt. You’ll know if this happens. You have the opportunity to walk away and choose to come back to the conversation when you’re able to be fully present and in a safe mindset. Remember, not all problems need to be fixed now.
4. Start with one small boundary. This tip is important for all you Mamas, who like me, didn’t set boundaries for years.
When you start small, you can experience success. Try to understand that you’re rewiring your brain and you’ll want to go back to the tried and true ways.
THE HARDEST PART IS TRYING. I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT, MAMA. YOU’RE WORTH IT.
Love + Prayers,